you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We don't watch enough power rangers
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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