He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
