You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
