I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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