So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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