Porn is love you can see.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
