shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize