I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize