PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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