AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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