i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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