you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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