We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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