I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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