So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
