Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
