I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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