Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
