so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
