i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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