My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
