I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
