i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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