when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
