it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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