Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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