You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize