Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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