the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
