plz talk dirty to me
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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