my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
