Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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