HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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