'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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