the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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