Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
