wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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