dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
