I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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