rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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