Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
