She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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