dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
