dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
