he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
