I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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