Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
