She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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