I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i came on her dog
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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