I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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