I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
