Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
