I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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