Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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