hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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