My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
