shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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