I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
