i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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