She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
