you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize