I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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