I don't think brook has ever known best
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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