"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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